Part 4 of the never ending twin birth story

To wrap up this insanely long 4 part over-detailed rendition of my twin labor and delivery here’s a quick post of what went down during the few days after the twins were born. (Okay, it’s actually still super long and detailed, sorry, but if you’re still interested read on…)

A few minutes after being brought back to the labor and delivery room I tried to hold the babies again, my arms and legs kept jerking uncontrollably (apparently this is from the change in hormones after delivery? Not really sure? Two people had to hold the babies on me since I couldn’t hold them myself. Even though it was only a few minutes baby B managed to latch onto my left breast and it was the sweetest thing I had ever experienced! And then I started puking and asked the babies to be taken to the nursery. I was in tears because all I wanted to do was take care of my babies and the sound of them crying when I couldn’t do anything for them was a huge source of anxiety.

Then I contracted a fever of 103.5 and was pretty sick for the first day after their birth. I kept asking for my babies, but was told they had to stay in the nursery to receive iv antibiotics. Because I was put on iv antibiotics in case of a possible infection they also put both babies on iv antibiotics. I was upset that they put my newborns on antibiotics without asking me. I understand that they wanted to be sure I didn’t give them an infection during delivery, but I still wonder if it was absolutely necessary (especially since one of the resident doctors said it was a precaution and wasn’t actually necessary). I fought so hard to have a vaginal delivery (changing doctors during my pregnancy) so that my babies could have the exposure to the good bacteria. I felt like the antibiotics canceled out all the good a vaginal delivery did for them.

After 3 days Baby A ended up being admitted to the NICU. It was actually on the day we were supposed to go home. He was already dressed in his going home outfit. They admitted him because he had an apneic episode- which means he stopped breathing… This was too much for me to handle. Because I’d already had both of my babies with me in the hospital, I fully expected to bring both babies home with me at the same time. They monitored him for 4 days and then he was able to join us at home.

Now we are all getting used to life with twins. I love them and I love being a mom.

Birth Story Part 3: My Twin Delivery

It has been 13 months since the birth of my twin baby boys. I started writing this final post on my birth story a few weeks after my babies were born but I haven’t been able to finish it. Part of that is because I’m a (new-ish) mom of twins, and it’s nearly impossible to find the time to blog. But the major reason why is because I have had a hard time re-living the birth experience. Just telling my story brings back a lot of the same emotions I was feeling when I was in the hospital- but I’m finally ready to get the rest of my story published so I can share it with you all.

I want to be completely honest about how I was feeling in the moment of my delivery and how I still feel even now. There were a lot of feelings of anxiety,  of being incapable and sheer terror. Now I realize that a lot of women feel disappointed about how their births turned out (especially if they didn’t go as planned) and I guess I am one of those women.

For the most part my labor went according to plan. I labored at home first, then I labored in the hospital while the doctors and nurses monitored the babies. Then I got the epidural before being moved to the OR where I always knew I would deliver my twins. I also knew that my second baby was breech and that he would need to be delivered by breech extraction. However, I truly had no idea how all of those events would make me feel as I experienced them.

Okay, enough rambling and describing how I felt- here’s what happened:

Once we arrived in the OR I was immediately transferred to the operating table. Somehow the doctors and nurses worked together to pick up the entire whaleness of me and put me on the tiny hard table that was no where close to being wide enough for a giant pregnant lady. (My doctor even made a comment that we would need to be careful not to let me fall off the side.)

Everyone around me was working fast- propping up my legs into stirrups, making sure my oxygen mask was on, they did ask me if I wanted to be covered up (but I sensed the urgency of delivering the babies ASAP so I said I didn’t care-I did kind if care but I cared more about getting my babies out safely). I never imagined giving birth completely uncovered in front of about 20 men and women I’d never seen before in my life. Oh yeah, and I was all alone because my husband was still changing into his scrubs.

Within a few minutes they were ready for me to push. At that point I heard someone say “the husband is at the door, can we let him in?” Thankfully he wasn’t too late, and they let him in so he could hold my hand. (Huge sigh of relief).

Then they basically just used the forceps and started pulling and telling me (more like everyone yelling at me) to PUSH, push, push! I tried once and realized I had no idea how to push. I felt like I couldn’t take a deep enough breath in order to push. I started coughing up phlegm (partly because I was super congested all the time during the last trimester of pregnancy) and partly because of the oxygen mask making it hard for me to swallow. We had to stop for a second so I could hawk up a loogie and spit it out into a cup someone was holding for me. Then they were like you have to PUSH right now, so I curled forward with my chin down toward my chest holding onto my legs and tried to bear down as much as I knew how. Someone was counting (insanely slow) all the way to 10, but my breath kept running out so quickly (around 5), and before I could catch my breath I could hear them saying “again, again, push, push…”  I felt so panicky that I wouldn’t be able to push out my baby in time. I knew he wasn’t doing well and I seriously felt like I was solely responsible for his little life. (Still can’t write this without crying). I was calling on the name of the Lord over and over again and desperately asking Him to help me deliver my babies safely. Even though these were such intense moments in reality it was only about 5 minutes of me pushing and the doctor pulling with forceps. I could feel a lot of pressure down there but the epidural was numbing my right side up pretty good so I didn’t feel much pain. I finally discovered that the only way I could keep myself from blowing out all my air while pushing was to yell/grunt. My husband was telling me to close my mouth and hold my breath, but I just couldn’t do it. I did about 3 big pushes while yelling and my baby A came out pretty fast (resulting in a third degree tear). I didn’t get to see him and I couldn’t hear him making any noise. I kept asking if he was okay and they told me he was  okay and that I needed to start pushing baby B out. I found out later that Baby A was limp when he first came out but after the first minute he came to and I heard him cry. Hearing his tiny voice was such a relief. I guess they didn’t want me to worry since it had another baby to deliver, but I truly regret not having the experience of having my babies put on my chest immediately after delivery (obviously he needed medical attention, so I understand why it didn’t happen, but I’m still sad about missing that experience).

The pushing for Baby B was different because the epidural wasn’t working as much on my left side. I felt the contractions (and that was a good thing) because I felt more in control while pushing. The epidural worked enough so that I didn’t feel too uncomfortable when they reached up to grab his legs and pull him down into the birth canal. I then pushed maybe a total of 5 times (yelling again because I think it worked best for me-even though I wasn’t holding my breath properly like everyone was telling me to). Three minutes later I pushed out Baby B’s hips and one shoulder at a time and finally his head. I was so thankful that I could “feel” him come out more than Baby A. I felt so much more in control of my body. This was why I was scared  of the epidural in the first place (but again I understand why I needed it and I am thankful for it ultimately).

Once the babies were safely out and I could hear them both crying I was so relieved and could only keep repeating “thank You Lord” quietly over and over again. During the delivery all I could do was call on the name of the Lord because I was so terrified and needed Him in order to get through the next second. It was only by His calming and sustaining me that I believe I was able to remain outwardly calm.

From my position on the operating table I couldn’t see the babies. I did catch a few glimpses of flailing little legs and feet though. I was told that they both were doing good and I couldn’t wait for them to be laid on my chest so I could kiss them. That didn’t happen though…

I started feeling very lightheaded and thought I was going to pass out. Then I noticed a pain in the left side of my chest that felt like something heavy was sitting on me, crushing me. I tried to tell the doctor how I was feeling, but my mouth was so dry it was hard to talk. Then I heard the doctors and nurses talking about how I had lost 2 liters of blood and they called for blood bags to be prepared in case I needed a transfusion. I then received a giant IV in my right hand (I already had the first IV placed in my other hand for the other medications and fluids I received during labor.) I also noticed a loud beeping that kept getting faster. It was my heart monitor that had gone up into the 180s plus I had really high blood pressure. I heard someone call out “she’s tachycardic, let’s hang the bags” (of blood for the transfusion) I had only ever heard phrases like this on medical TV shows which made me pretty nervous. Again, all I could do was call on the name of the Lord.

So I had a blood transfusion (2 units). All this was happening while my OB and the resident doctor she was training were stitching me up (I could feel all the pricking, tugging and pulling pretty well despite the epidural.)

I also was having my abdomen roughly massaged in order to help my uterus contract back down and stop more bleeding. Super painful by the way. I had Vitamin K shots administered into my upper arm multiple times to try and help stop the bleeding as well. I was given Cytotec pills to help my uterus contract and shrink back down- again, to stop the bleeding. The pills stayed in my extrememly dry cheeks for over an hour and weren’t dissolved as they should have been until I washed them down with water back in my labor and delivery room.

This whole experience was very scary (and incredibly uncomfortable/painful) to me, and at one point I even remember praying that I would be able to hold my babies before I died (I know, dramatic, but I truly had the fear that I might die from blood loss or a heart attack.)

My husband, on the other hand was not concerned for me (he was in medical school at the time, so he was used to seeing these types of situations). He was happily video taping the babies- and at one point he tried to give me baby B to hold, but I was shaking too uncontrollably to be able to hold him. Our first family photo was taken by a nurse. In it my husband is holding the babies and I am laying on the table with my oxygen mask on looking pale and half dead. Not something I’ll be posting on Facebook that’s for sure.

Once they got me stitched up, they wheeled me (still attached to the transfusion bags) back to my labor and delivery room.

Introducing Our Twin Baby Boys!

Levi Thomas and Ezra Joseph

Levi Thomas

Born on January 7th, 2015 at 4:22 AM

Weight: 5 LB 5 OZ

Height: 19.4 IN

Ezra Joseph

Born on January 7th, 2015 at 4:25 AM

Weight: 6 LB 1 OZ

Height: 18.3 IN

We love them to pieces!

Birth Story Part 2: In Labor and Delivery

This part of the story takes place in my Labor and Delivery room. The timing of this portion is all a blur to me, but I do know the basic order of events and I will try to piece it all together.

The first challenge was finding a hospital gown that I didn’t want to rip off of myself- because the material aggravated my Obstetric Cholestasis and made me super itchy. When I mentioned my discomfort to one of the doctors he offered me a dose do benedryl via my iv. I’m not usually one to say yes to drugs but I was desperate for relief. It was also supposed to make me drowsy- and I was hoping to be able to rest. Sadly the benedryl didn’t work as well as I had hoped and I was too uncomfortable from the contractions to be able to sleep.

Right away when I got to my room I was hooked up to the monitors for the babies and for my contractions. I wanted to take a bath so badly, but I wasn’t allowed to (can’t remember why at the moment) I think they just wanted to monitor the babies. Eventually I was allowed to take a bath for about 20 minutes in between monitoring sessions.

I rotated between soaking in the bath to the bed (when I had to be monitored) and then to the birthing ball and back to the bathroom to lean on the towel rack while someone put pressure on my lower back. I would also try to stand up and sway back and forth and make figure eights with my hips in between contractions. These things all really helped me stay on top of the pain. After about 10 hours of constantly having to get back in bed to be monitored I finally realized that if I put the birthing ball next to the bed I could ask the nurse to attach the monitors to my belly while I stayed in the ball. This was so much better than having to lay in bed during my contractions.

Something I learned from my Bradley Method class was to make sure all of my muscles were completely relaxed during a contraction. During labor we referred to this as “going limp”. If I started to tense up someone (mom, sister or husband) would remind me to “go limp” and I would hang my head down, dangle my arms at my sides and basically focus on focussing on nothing. This was the only way I could get through my contractions. It was like being in a zone. If I could get there I could make it through. A few times when I tried to make it from one if my stations to the next and I ran out of time before the contraction started- this was when I really struggled to relax and the contractions were much harder to make it through. So my tip for anyone preparing for labor is to go limp BEFORE a contraction starts.

I felt like my labor was moving along well and I kept assuming that I was further along than I actually was. I was progressing, but my cervix wasn’t dilating as quickly as I thought it would. Sometime in the afternoon the doctor gave me the option of stripping my membranes or breaking my water. I opted for the membranes, and while the doctor was doing that I felt a gush of fluid. We thought my water had broken but a few hours later found out that it was just my membranes. So we had to break my water later on. This felt like a massive gush of hot water. Not warm like I expected but almost to the point of being uncomfortably hot. And the water just kept flowing and flowing and flowing… Now I know that the smaller gushes I felt were nothing close to being my actual water breaking. Shortly after this though the nurse began to monitor the babies constantly so I had one last soak in the tub and then I was confined to the bed and birthing ball.

Almost as soon as my water broke my contractions intensified and I really struggled to stay on top of the pain. At that point I considered getting the epidural earlier than I had planned. Originally I wanted to wait till right before going into the OR for delivery so the babies wouldn’t have much time to be affected by the drugs.  Since I had already been in labor for around 30 hours and I hadn’t slept for close to 3 days I was wondering why I should wait to get the epidural. My husband tried to get me to hold off, so I waited another hour. Then I started feeling a lot of pressure so I thought the babies were getting ready to come out. Then I panicked and thought I waited too long to get the epidural. So I was placed in the waiting list for my epidural. Once I was in the list then time passed so slowly. All I could think about was getting the epidural. The anesthesiologist finally arrived and prepped me (and everyone else had to leave the room including my husband). Right before she was going to place the epidural she got an emergency call and had to rush out to a c-section. I felt bad for the other woman needing the emergency c-section (but mainly I felt bad for myself- selfish I know) but at that point I was so ready for the epidural that I wanted to scream “are you kidding me!” after the anesthesiologist as she left the room. Thankfully I refrained. The contractions were coming one right after the other. Maybe a minute between but it seemed like as soon as one diminished another wave would start. I was left alone with a nurse (who wasn’t very kind and understanding) I don’t think she said a word to me while I waited. Because of that though I was forced to focus on getting through the contractions on my own. I was able to deal with them and stay on top of the pain better than I was when I had my family members caring for me. I think I was forced to be strong- and it kind of worked for me. I still am so thankful for my mom, sister and supportive husband who labored with me the entire time.

Finally (after 20 or so additional minutes of waiting- that seemed like an eternity) the anesthesiologist returned and placed my epidural. After they had placed the catheter and set me up in my bed they administered the drugs. I was given a button to push every hour to give myself additional doses. I actually tried to give myself more meds too early and it won’t let you. Once you get the epidural you can’t get out of bed (because your legs basically stop working from the drugs). So at last I was able to rest for about an hour- and my helpers took a much needed rest as well.

For some reason the nurse kept making me turn from side to side. I remember this because each time I had to turn over my bag of urine from the catheter had to be passed over me and hung on the other side of the bed. I mainly was spending time resting on my right side which meant that the drugs were settling in my right side and my left side was no longer numb. I was annoyed that I couldn’t lay on my left side so I could numb the left side that was hurting pretty bad again. Then I found out the reason why.

Every time I had a contraction baby A’s heart rate was dropping into the low 70s and then spiking higher and continued to do this for a few hours (I think, I’m still fuzzy on all the details) the doctors think it was due to a low volume of fluid of amniotic fluid left after my water for Baby A broke which was causing the cord to be compressed. At one point his heart rate was down for over 4 min so they decided it was time to deliver. My husband, who is in medical school was actually surprised that they had let me continue to labor for so long rather than taking me in for a c-section right away. He told me that most doctors would have done that but my doctor just kept monitoring me closely. She told me afterward that she was right on the border of making the decision to do a c-section.

I still wasn’t fully dilated yet (so the resident doctor tried to open my cervix manually while I pushed. We were still in my labor and delivery room and I knew the plan was to deliver in the OR. I started to sense that there was a need to get things going faster and this was super stressful. At that point about 5 additional nurses plus my doctor rushed in. They put my oxygen mask on (I had been using the mask earlier but it was hanging around my neck during the pushing session.) They told me that I needed to get more oxygen to my baby because his heart rate was too low. I got really scared and my first thought was to have a c-section in order to get the babies out immediately so I suggested this to my doctor. I was thinking that cutting me open was sounding like a much less risky option for the babies at that point. My doctor said we didn’t need to operate so we headed to the OR to attempt a vaginal delivery anyway. My doctor was confident that with the help of forceps (that thought terrified me even more) she could help get baby A out quickly.

Someone threw a pair of scrubs at my husband and yelled “let’s go” we were already wheeling out of the room leaving my husband behind in the bathroom changing. I fought hard to fight back the tears (but now as I recall the events and write this post the tears are flowing freely).  I raised my fingers while clutching to my oxygen mask in an attempt to wave to my mom and sister who were not allowed in the OR. They looked just as scared as I felt and I knew they would be praying for me the entire time.

On the way down the hall my doctor squeezed my hand and reassured me that everything would be fine. As much as I trusted my doctor I was still more terrified than I had ever been in my life. I needed more than trust in a capable doctor, I needed God. I was praying silently and then not so silently for my babies to be delivered safely. Then I couldn’t even pray in full sentences so all I could do was keep repeating  “Oh God, Oh Lord, Oh Lord Jesus.”

The rest of the story takes place in the OR. I’ll post about Delivering Twins soon! I’m slowly typing out my story during 15 min. breast pumping sessions (the only time I can find to blog these days) which is why this has taken me so long to post! Thanks for your patience!

Birth Story Part 1: Early Stage of Labor

Today (Wednesday January 21st) I would have been 38 weeks pregnant. However, because of the events that I am about to describe (for my own records and to fill you all in on the details) I am not 2 weeks postpartum and my boys are celebrating their 2 week birthday!

At 35 weeks 5 days I had been experiencing what I thought were signs of pre- labor. I had been losing my mucus plug for about ten days and I was having menstrual-like cramps. When I went to my regular doctor’s appointment on Monday, January 5th I was surprised to find out that I was already 3 cm dilated and having regular contractions. I was in the early stage of labor. My OB was pretty sure that I’d have the babies in the next day or two.

Sunday, January 4th:

In bed with cramping and back pain.

Monday, January 5th:

10:30am

I returned home from my doctor’s appointment and took a shower (partly because I had always planned on showering in the early stage of labor so I would look good in the hospital pictures) but mainly because I was having back pain that was only relieved by the hot water. I called a few friends to let them know that I was starting the laboring process- and found someone to cook dinner for another friend who had just given birth the week before. I had signed up on a meal schedule to bring her dinner- but realized that it wasn’t going to happen.

11am

My mom and I began running/waddling around the house collecting things that we thought we needed to bring to the hospital. Up until that point my hospital bag only consisted of card games and sudoku (because I thought it was important we have things to do at the hospital while we were waiting for active labor to begin).

The contractions I was having were similar to the cramps I get during my period only they were stronger. The back pain was constant, but the cramps would get worse in the front of my abdomen and that’s when I would be aware of the contraction.

12pm

I tried to lay down and rest- I might have napped for an hour or maybe two, but I was constantly being disrupted by the cramping.

12:30pm

Called my sister to let her know I might not make it till Wednesday. She changed her flight and arrived roughly 12 hours later.

1:30am

My sister arrived and jumped right in to laboring with me. Contractions were intensifying (but some were smaller and then bigger and some were 5 min. apart, then 7 min. apart or 4 min. apart.) It was difficult to tell when contractions were beginning and ending because the back pain was constant and it interfered with my ability to differentiate between the two types of pain.

We timed the contractions all night except when I was showering. Then when I showered my mom and sister rested as much as they could.

When I was not in the shower my back pains were getting really uncomfortable and so my sister would put pressure on my lower back (just like I learned in my Bradley Method class) and that really helped relieve the pain.

In the morning we called the doctor to see what we should do since I was never having the 5-1-1 (contractions 5 min. apart lasting for 1 minute for an entire hour.) Because I was a high risk pregnancy with twins and obstetric cholestasis and my blood pressure had been high for the past week my doctor wanted me to come in.

9am

We arrived at the Women’s Assessment Center to be evaluated. I was in labor, but hadn’t dilated any more (in fact, the doctor said I was only 2 cm dilated- so apparently the measurements really depend on the doctor who is checking. Again my doctor wanted to keep me (but gave me the option of going home if I wanted to). We decided to stay because the doctor felt like things could progress quickly.

*What I didn’t realize that was once I was admitted I wasn’t allowed to eat anything- but could only have clear liquids. This was a challenge because I was not only exhausted but I was getting hungry and needed energy. My labor and delivery class mentioned this, but I didn’t realize I wouldn’t be allowed to eat the snacks I brought with me to the hospital- and I would have tried to eat more before going to the hospital if I had remembered this!

More of the story to come in Birth Story Part 2: In Labor and Delivery

They are here!!

I’ve been MIA for the past week because…

The babies were born at exactly 36 weeks on Wednesday, January 7th at 4:22 and 4:25am Baby A weighed 5 lbs 5 oz and Baby B 6 lbs 1 oz.

I’ll follow up with our birth story when I can. I just wanted to let you all know we are home and healthy and learning how to keep these little peeps growing outside of the womb!

35 weeks pregnant with only 2 more weeks to go!

Week 35 belly shot

Week 35 pregnancy symptoms

Heartburn or acid reflux? Feels like I’ve swallowed a pill but it won’t go down all the way and it slowly creeps back up my esophagus and feels like I can’t get it out it does burn and sometimes I throw up a little in my mouth. I honestly thought I was just full so food wouldn’t stay down, and I actually did think that the pills getting stuck feeling were actually my Ursodiol pills getting lodged in my throat. I’m thinking now that it must be heart burn since it’s happening all the time- especially when I lay down to try and sleep.

Belly hurts all the time. Can’t bend forward to eat at the table so I end up spilling food all over my belly. One great alternative I’ve discovered is using my belly as a stand for food, drinks etc.. Works pretty well!

Swollen feet, legs, thighs- so gross! I did take a picture but I can’t bring myself to post the horrendous sight on my blog. Just imagine 2 pudgy, tight skinned feet, kankles and giant calves that blend into my swollen knees and thighs. Are there words like kankles for those other parts that blend together like calnees and knighs- because I definitely have those!

Belly button is sticking out slightly but not in a cute little prego button kind of way- it just slightly pooches out in the middle of my giant stretched out crater in the center of my belly. It doesn’t even look like a belly button at this point. (Plus the dark scar from my laparoscopic procedure and old belly button piercing don’t help.)

Gained 50 pounds total so far!

At the ultrasound on Monday the boys were looking good! Baby A is over 6 lbs! And Baby B is about 5.5 lbs! Crazy that I could have up to 12 lbs of baby in me plus all that comes with them- placentas and amniotic fluid (both babies have a lot of amniotic fluid) so they could still turn but for now Baby B (the presenting twin) is still head down. He hasn’t dropped yet but it sure feels like it! He also likes to wedge his legs or knees under my ribs and that’s pretty uncomfortable.

I’m measuring 44 cm (at my OB appointment last week) and 41 cm (at my MFM appointment this week) so either way my uterus thinks it’s overdue.

Possible pre-labor signs I’m experiencing

• Lots if menstrual like cramping, back aches, mucus like discharge, leaking nipples.
• I’m moving around super slowly, can’t get up off the couch or out of bed or out of the car. Waddling pretty much all the time.
• Feeling not ready but excited at the same time. Sometimes I think they might come today other days I’m sure they will wait for weeks (well they can only wait 2 weeks before they induce me because of the Obstetric Cholestasis I think). But I’ll try to hold off any inducing unless absolutely necessary.
• I’m super tired, feeling a bit sick. Sore throat, lots of phlegm in my throat, and nose. Napping during the day since I can’t sleep well at night.

Update on the moving situation

I try to do one unpacking chore everyday. My jobs have been easy compared to my mom and husband who have tackled the larger items. I’ve only been allowed to put together the babies’ room and choose where to put things in the kitchen or telling my husband where to put the furniture. I can also sit and fold laundry and direct my mother where to put the dishes etc.

For the nursery we still need to set up a sleeping place for the peeps, so I finally ordered the Pack ‘n Play I’d been reading reviews about for forever. It was on sale on amazon so we saved about 30-60 bucks!

I ordered my diaper bag. I finally settled on the Skip Hop Forma Pack and Go Diaper Tote. I’m still reading/watching reviews on this giant backpack travel bag from Okkatots that looks super functional but it’s huge and I cannot imagine bringing it everywhere with me. Who knows how I’ll feel or what I’ll actually need on a daily basis once I start going out with the twins. We do plan to travel with the babies so I may splurge and get the travel backpack in addition to the one I ordered and use the smaller one for every day use and the travel backpack for longer outings and trips.

I’m planning to do a big shopping spree of all the things we still need to prepare for the babies! Because of all of our amazing family and friends who gave us gift cards we will be able to purchase most of the last minute items that we need, so that will be fun. This needs to happen like yesterday since shipping takes time and these babies are coming within 2 weeks! Ahh! I’m starting to freak out a little, I mean a LOT, I mean I have no idea if I’m really ready for this- but am so thankful and so excited at the same time to cuddle these babies!

My sister is arriving on January 7th so hopefully these growing peeps will wait at least another week to pop out of my belly! It would be even better if they wait 2 weeks, since my mother in law is coming then. Only The Lord knows the right time for these tiny guys to arrive, so I’m trying not to overthink it.

Anyone have tips from their labor experiences?

What were your early signs of labor? I know everyone is different, but I’m still curious to hear about others’ experiences. Okay, so I’ll probably compare your experiences to myself and convince myself that I’m in labor… But really please do share, I’m so curious and excited but scared and can’t believe that all of this could happen any day now!

Here are my scarily huge bare belly close ups:

Don’t judge: There are 12ish pounds of baby in there!

Why nesting, waddling pregnant ladies shouldn’t move 2-3 weeks before they are due!

It’s 4:30am and lately I don’t ever sleep- at night that is. Since we’ve been in our new home (4 nights) I’ve slept about 2-3 hours total at night (interrupted by trips to the toilet to pee). Then by mid-morning I’m able to nap on the couch for a few more hours. I seem to be more comfortable during the day, whereas at night I’m bothered by all of my third trimester pregnancy symptoms (swollen painful legs and feet, itching, back pain, heartburn, this new pelvic girdle pain…). So yesterday I slept a ton during the day (like 3 naps totaling 6 hours!) So I’m up again tonight and decided to rant a bit about my recent moving experience and share some of the reasons why I think pregnant women probably shouldn’t move right before they give birth.

1. Pregnant ladies are basically worthless when it comes to doing any real moving (which makes them feel guilty for making their husbands do everything)!

This past weekend we finally made the move into our new place. Let me tell you, as much as we both felt like we needed to move I’m pretty sure we also both felt like we were making a huge mistake in the midst of the craziness that went on. Basically I couldn’t help with anything. All I could do was pack up the boxes and wait for others to do all the lifting and moving. Even though I appeared to be worthless in this moving process I still felt completely wiped out physically (and my swollen feet were out of control just from the standing and walking around gathering things to pack… and then unpack).

2. Nesting instincts make you extremely particular with ridiculously high expectations for cleanliness

On top of the move itself we were moving into a house that needed some love (cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning) before we could unpack any of our things. The first night I refused to bathe in the bath tub (it didn’t seem clean enough) so I actually drove back to the apartment so I could take my nightly bath. This may sound excessive, but this is coming from a girl who has been surviving the Obstetric Cholestasis itchiness by taking between 1-3 baths a day.

I’m thinking that I may be just a bit overly concerned about cleanliness because I’m in full nesting force at this point in my pregnancy. The desire to make our new home perfectly clean and put together before the babies arrive has been making me feel super stressed and anxious. I just want to make a warm, cozy home for the peeps, yet I have such little capacity and almost no time left before they will be born- crazy!

3. Pregnancy hormones make you want to go crazy preparing a proper nest for your baby/babies

This has lead me to make this strange comparison. Being in nesting mode while moving into a new house is such a bad idea! Just like going to the grocery store when you’re starving and you end up going crazy and buying things you don’t actually need. Like every flavor of JELL-O pudding available (yep, I’ve done that). Back to my comparison. You have so many desires and everything seems so important so you want to start grabbing everything off the shelves (or in my case you want to completely remodel and paint and decorate every corner of your house). Both situations are not advisable because they are usually fueled by irrational thoughts and hunger pangs (or raging mommy hormones).

4. Moving makes you feel even more unprepared and unsettled!

So after realizing that I can’t create a perfect Pinterest-worthy nursery in 2-3 weeks (while being hugely pregnant) I’m content to relax a little, make due with what we have and trust that these babies are not going to care about the lack of decor in their simple little room. They will have what they need. Clothes, a place to sleep and a mama to feed off of- and some mixture of cloth and/or disposable diapers until we figure out what we are doing in that department.

5. And after you’re done moving you should remember that you just need to CHILL out!

I sat in the nursery today looking at the 3 lonely items: a dresser, swing and bouncer. I began to imagine nursing my boys in their very own room and I felt peaceful and excited (but don’t get me wrong- these babies are not allowed to come out of me for another 2 weeks.) Actually there are a few more items in the nursery that I forgot to mention: the double stroller with car seats and a twin bed for me, and the chair I was sitting in (a super cute vintage chair that I’ve been meaning to re-cover for the past 3 years).

My new post-moving attitude

At this point I plan to throw a baby quilt over the chair, set up a crib we are borrowing from friends, find another dresser to accommodate all of the babies’ clothes and blankets and diapers and random baby stuff that I’m not sure we need, but all the baby websites made us absolutely believe that we must have… so I’m letting go of my expectations and desire for perfection (in regards to what we will bring our babies home to) and I’m trusting that all will be well because soon we will have our little loves in our new home with us.

Moving while 34 weeks pregnant with twins

Week 34 belly shot

Yes, we are crazy. We decided pretty last minute to move out of our little apartment (on the third floor) into a one story house. I had this idea when we first found out we were pregnant, but financially it seemed impossible to make the move.

Moving with 3 weeks left to go!

So throughout my entire pregnancy every time I tried to imagine leaving the apartment with 2 babies in tow I had major anxiety. I couldn’t conceive how I could carry them both down the cement stairs to the other side of the building to put them in the car. I also couldn’t imagine trying to return home with anything else besides the babies (so grocery shopping was out of the question). I had concluded that I would just never leave the apartment on my own. Then about a month ago my husband declared “I think we should move into a house”.

Besides the fact that I was 8 months pregnant, had already organized the babies’ closet and changing area and was in the middle of all of my baby sewing projects, moving to a house sounded like a wonderful idea. So for the past month I’ve put my nesting on hold and instead started slowly packing up our things. As of last Thursday, most of the apartment still looked pretty normal- in other words I wasn’t making much progress.

A wonderful husband, mother and friends

My husband had the week off so he spent all of his time at the new house doing yard work, cleaning the gutters and doing the major cleaning of the floors and bathrooms. My mom has been wonderful- making sure to deep clean the kitchen appliances and the bathrooms multiple times- because she knows how much I want to move into a clean environment for the babies. She even tried to use all of my natural cleaners- but sometimes there is a time for bleach and ammonia when my natural cleaners just can’t cut it.

This whole week I’ve only spent a few hours at the new house- because my husband and mother won’t let me do anything there. I just wander around obsessing over all the things that need to be done. So they started leaving me back at the apartment to pack up the little things that I can handle. Seriously, not being able to dive in and do housework and packing is torturous! I’ve also had a few dear friends help me with packing and cleaning- and am so thankful for their willingness to help!

Update on the babies:

• The babies have been kicking my cervix and it feels like how nails on a chalkboard sound. In other words, it kind of hurts and makes you cringe but is more unpleasant than anything else.
• The boys sometimes move a lot with forceful super noticeable movements that are visible from the outside of my belly. But then depending on the day sometimes I don’t feel them much at all- especially when I’m moving around a lot- I just feel a constant tightness of the belly.
• The NST monitoring was good this week- just like all of our previous monitoring sessions. The babies definitely move a ton every time the nurse straps on the super tight (and itchy) bands that hold the monitors in place.

My symptoms and weight gain:

• Back pain when slouching while sitting down- it’s best when I lay on my left side or sit straight up with pillows supporting my back.
• Swelling in feet and ankles moving up to my thighs. Even with my feet elevated I have to be conscious to flex the muscles in my legs to keep them from swelling even more.
• Itching is still there, but I’m having more good days with less frequent bad days.
• Still no dilation even with my irregular contractions.
• I’m noticing that I’m starting to lactate small amounts every day.
• I also have to sit on a towel around the house because of excess discharge (but nothing crazy like my water breaking). I’m sure I’ll know the difference if my water breaks! I hope!
• Weight gain- I’ve all of a sudden started gaining a ton of weight! I’m guessing some of it is water weight from all of the swelling. Last month one of the nurses suggested that I drink Ensure to get my weight up because I only gained about 2-3 pounds that month. Well, I made up for it this month- gaining about 15 pounds! I’ve now gained 48 pounds during this pregnancy!

Graduated from birthing classes- now we’re supposed to know what to do?

We finished our Bradley Method birth classes. Not sure if I’m actually prepared for birthing these babies, but at least I have some good tips and techniques that will hopefully serve us well when the time comes. Also, part of the program is to practice with my coach (husband), so I get to say things like “honey, we have to practice our relaxation massage for 10 minutes” and sometimes he agrees to pamper me!

Notice the empty bookshelf behind me? This will be my last belly shot in our old apartment

I think the babies may be dropping- my belly appears to be sagging lower this week

Like I said before, I’m behind on my posts, but this is my update for 34 weeks with my 34 week belly shots taken last week when I actually was 34 weeks. Just to be clear 🙂

Pregnancy Brain: 33 weeks pregnant with twins

Week 33 belly shot

Funny Story: I blame it on pregnancy brain

My college roommate came to visit me for the weekend. It was a short visit but so special to get to spend time together before the babies get here. The weekend was pretty uneventful, we basically sat around so I could put my swollen feet up and she got to feel the tiny peeps moving around in my belly. We did get to go out for a few good meals together- and this is where my funny/embarrassing story begins.

We decided to go out for dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. Before going out in public I squeezed into one of the only maternity tops that still kind of fits (but doesn’t quite cover the belly band on my jeans). Then the search for a pair of shoes began. Seriously- NONE of my shoes fit at this point. I finally settled on a pair of jelly flats that “fit” but were by no means comfortable in any way. I hobbled down the stairs to the car wincing with every step- man were my feet swollen!

Before dinner we walked around the shopping center by the restaurant and took cheesy pictures by the trees covered in white lights. Then we went to the restaurant. We ordered a bunch of tapas to share including these Cuban nachos that were ah-may-zing! Blue corn chips with black beans, a fried plantain, melted queso fresco with a pickled jalapeno on top. That was a tangent- the story is not actually about the food- but did I mention the crispy pork belly? Mmm…

Okay, so after our delightful evening chatting over tapas I excused myself to the ladies room. As I walked to the back of the restaurant my pinching shoes reminded me of how swollen my feet had gotten (even bigger than when I left the house). I made it to the bathroom and sat down on the toilet- I looked down at my feet and lo and behold my shoes were on the wrong feet! That’s right, just like a three year old- I had shoved my puffy pink little sausage toes into the wrong shoes.

In my defense, when I switched my shoes to the proper feet they were still almost as uncomfortable as they had been all evening- but visually when they were on the wrong feet there was no mistaking the toes pointing out in opposite directions. Like I said- just like a three year old!

We all had a good laugh once I got back to the table. I still don’t know how it was possible for me to go all evening without noticing this fashion faux pas, hence I’m blaming it on pregnancy brain.

33 week twin pregnancy overview

Overall week 32 was a pretty good week. Having two of my favorite ladies in the world with me helped to distract from my itching and all of the other stresses that are coming up in the next few weeks (moving and you know, that whole giving birth thing).

I do have to mention that I had an acupuncture appointment last Friday and that could also be why my itching was more bearable over the weekend. Either way, I was one happy, giant bellied, thirty-year-old mismatched shoe wearing (not to be confused with a three year old) mama to be this week.

And to prove it- look how giant my belly has become!

That’s one giant bellied twin-mama-to-be

P.S.

I’m still about 1 week behind on publishing my weekly pregnancy updates, but I am making sure to take my belly shot photos every week- so they are still accurate. Hopefully I will get caught up with Week 34 before Week 35 rolls around! Ahhhh- time is going by way too fast!